When did you start body shaming yourself?

 Obesity is defined as “ very fat or overweight”

 

I remember I was identified as Obese. I was at my doctors office getting my routine checkup back in 1998, I had all 3 of my kids by then and my height was 5’4 and my weight was 155. 

I was heavier than I was before my children as my weight was always between 125-135 at the most.

Oh and I was  34 at the time I read this description noted on a piece of paper.

Back then if the doctor was located within a hospital you  would go to the records department and retrieve your medical records, bring them to your doctors office. 

For some reason on this particular day I decided to actually open the folder and look inside, Somethings I couldn’t quite make out as it looked like a scribbled mess BUT one sentence stood out like a batman beacon it read: Patient is obese

My feelings hurt so bad and if you were in the elevator you would have seen my face literally dropped to the floor. During the entire visit I was listening but not listening to my exam as I wanted to scream " WHY DO YOU THINK I AM OBESE"? But I didn't. 

 I've never felt overweight let alone obese and from that moment forward my up and down weight journey and self-loathing began.

 It wasn’t a man in my life, friend or bullying from school that made me feel less then, it was my doctor.

 

It took along time for me to be at peace with my body, realizing I will not get back down to 125 and even if I could I no longer want to be that small. 

You have to start loving yourself and work on healing any internal wounds, start introducing healthier eating habits and physical activity daily. 

When you work on your inner self love and truly choose a healthier lifestyle trust me the exercise will come much easier.

Just a thought...